Note to Myself [23-01-30]

What I learned until now is that the first step of managing people is the courage on being wrong or hated. It is hard for me to do so, it always trigger the part that said I need to stop. The unique thing is that I've repeatedly challenge and ignore this feeling, and it turned out everything is going to be fine, even better.

 

My amygdala seems never recall the outcome of being brave, it never harms me, it always put me in a better position. If somebody asks me to come forward and explain something, I am never scared. But when I need to talk to a person, to ask some favor from them, even when it is their responsibility, my amygdala panic so hard that I will blank stare my environment.

The blank stare also happen when I am failing. I love being under pressure, but when I failed to fully achieve the goal, I will blank out. I will question my competence, and even ask can I ever be better.